C'est la viz

The person who coined the phrase 'as different as chalk and cheese'
obviously hadn't tasted Kwik Save's cheddar.

If smoking is bad for you, how come it cures Salmon?

We should remember the tremendous contribution of the Queen Mother tothe war effort: as the BBC pointed out, she 'bravely remained in Londonbeside her husband' during the war.
This contrasts sharply with the actions of my grandfather who, on thedeclaration of war immediately left his wife and children and p*ssedoff, first to France, then North Africa, Italy, France (again) andfinally Germany. The shame will always be with us.

Like the Queen Mum, my grandfather was a frequent visitor to the EastEnd during the dark days of the blitz, but he was never hailed as a heroby the people of London . That's because he flew Heinkel bombers for the Luftwaffe.

Davina McCall says that dangling off a helicopter over the Grand Canyonon a 700 foot bungee rope was the most terrifying and dangerous thingshe has ever done. She must be forgetting that she went out with Stan Collymore.