Monday, 19 May 2008
C'est la viz
The person who coined the phrase 'as different as chalk and cheese'
obviously hadn't tasted Kwik Save's cheddar.
If smoking is bad for you, how come it cures Salmon?
We should remember the tremendous contribution of the Queen Mother tothe war effort: as the BBC pointed out, she 'bravely remained in Londonbeside her husband' during the war.
This contrasts sharply with the actions of my grandfather who, on thedeclaration of war immediately left his wife and children and p*ssedoff, first to France, then North Africa, Italy, France (again) andfinally Germany. The shame will always be with us.
Like the Queen Mum, my grandfather was a frequent visitor to the EastEnd during the dark days of the blitz, but he was never hailed as a heroby the people of London . That's because he flew Heinkel bombers for the Luftwaffe.
Davina McCall says that dangling off a helicopter over the Grand Canyonon a 700 foot bungee rope was the most terrifying and dangerous thingshe has ever done. She must be forgetting that she went out with Stan Collymore.
Sunday, 18 May 2008
Silly Joke, But Funny
A man is driving down the road and breaks down near a monastery. He goes to the monastery, knocks on the door, and says, My car broke down. Do you think I could stay the night?
The monks graciously accept him, feed him dinner, and even fix his car. As the man tries to fall asleep, he hears a strange sound; a sound like no other that he has ever heard. The next morning, he asks the monks what the sound was, but they say, We can't tell you. You're not a monk.
The man is disappointed but thanks them anyway and goes about his merry way. Some years later, the same man breaks down in front of the same monastery.
The monks again accept him, feed him, and even fix his car.
That night, he hears the same strange mesmerizing sound that he had heard years earlier.
The next morning, he asks what the sound was, but the monks reply,
We can't tell you. You're not a monk.
The man says, All right, all right. I'm dying to know.
If the only way I can find out what that sound was, is to become a monk, how do I become a monk?
The monks reply, you must travel the earth and tell us how many blades of grass there are and the exact number of sand pebbles. When you find these numbers, you will become a monk.
The man sets about his task. Some forty-five years later, he returns and knocks on the door of the monastery. He says, I have travelled the earth and devoted my life to the task demanded and have found what you had asked for. There are 371,145,236,284,232 blades of grass and 231,281,219,999,129,382 sand pebbles on the earth.
The monks reply, 'Congratulations, you are correct and now you are a monk'.
We shall now show you the way to the sound.
The monks lead the man to a wooden door, where the head monk says, the sound is behind that door.
The man reaches for the knob, but the door is locked. He asks, 'May I have the key'?
The monks give him the key, and he opens the door.
Behind the wooden door is another door made of stone. The man requests the key to the stone door.
The monks give him the key, and he opens it, only to find a door made of ruby. He demands another key from the monks, who provide it. Behind that door is another door, this one made of sapphire. And so it went until the man had gone through doors of emerald,...
...silver, topaz, and amethyst.
Finally, the monks say, 'This is the key to the last door'.
The man is relieved to no end. He unlocks the door, turns the knob, and behind that door he is astonished to find the source of that strange sound. It is truly an amazing and unbelievable sight.
. . . But I can't tell you what it is because you're not a monk.
Off On Holiday
So this will be my last post for a while................
Never mind cheering, your mocking may be amusing to you, but the fact you're here reading is more amusing to me........!!!
On a boat round the med, which should be fab. Nice and sunny, loads to eat, a few (too many) beers, relaxing, my mp3 player loaded to the max.............. Can't wait!! Hopefully Sky Sports on so I can cheer the champions of Europe on to promotion on Sunday afternoon. Come on Leeds, get some blood on yer boots.........!!
Interesting news this week that Peter Sutcliffe has started to make a case for being released from prison/hospital. For those of you who don't know, he found notoriety in the late 70s as Britain's last at large serial killer, murdering women in the north of England. I hold an unhealthy 'obsession' with all things Peter Sutcliffe - my holiday reading will be a book written before he was caught about who they thought he was - and will be watching how the story develops with great interest. Here's a link to one of the many Peter Sutcliffe sites (also known as The Yorkshire Ripper)..................
http://www.execulink.com/~kbrannen/
Bad news that Royal Mail are planning to close down my local Post Office. All down to profitability. What a load of absolute bollocks. How do you measure profitability? To me, a service such as a Post Office should be measured in its worth to the local community, not how many stamps it sells. I hate this forever profit drive that seems to engulf our services, streamlining, tendering, privatisation, best value, and all the other buzz words that mean the same thing......GREED. Perhaps we should just have done and let Tesco run the entire world (maybe I'd see Tony on a daily basis!!). Fucking stinks in my eyes.
But on a happier note, my sun tan lotion is packed, and am about to fly fly fly away. But before i do, heres a bit of Marc to keep you warm and comfy in my absence.....................
Takes a boa to know her!!!!!!!!!!!
My friend - well, cyber friend - went to see Marc in Cornwall this weekend (Friday counts as weekend to me!!) and here is her review of the show............
Hi,
Sorry for the delay in getting this to you – was hoping to send pics, but they’ll have to follow in another note.
I won’t go into the details of the journey there, but it was a total nightmare and we arrived in the Festival Marquee, just as the lights went down and the show started. The Festival Marquee appeared to be in the grounds of the local primary school and was filled with local people of all ages – not a Marc fan insight – at first. It was all very bizarre!
Marc had the band, Neil, Martin, Carl and Dave and opened with I have Lived. Despite the ‘mixed’ audience he got a great welcome and seemed quite relaxed (considering everything, rain, marquee etc) and spoke about looking forward to cream teas in Cornwall – despite the weather, which was vile buy that point…Next was Redeem Me and again the reception was really good from the audience. R, M and I were sat on the LHS of the stage 3rd row – next to a journo and photographer for The St Austell Voice (J) – article to be published on Weds I think….
Marc did a section of acoustic songs with Neil, Dream Lover, Child Star, Brilliant Creatures and Amsterdam which was fantastic! The audience were really responsive and enjoying the show and Marc was obviously surprised by the reaction he was getting and loving it! Mr Sad was a real treat with the whole band again, before the 1st half was closed with a set of songs with Martin on piano, What makes a man a man, Yesterday when I was young, If you go away and Jacky. It was great to hear If you go away, I really love that one, but I cannot tell you how well the whole set was received by such a non standard Marc audience! The audience was the complete opposite of the unquestioning, loyal and devoted from the Wilton’s shows. A real mixture of locals supporting the Du Maurier festival, pensioners, ladies in the 30’s who may have remembered Marc from the 80’s and were out for a night out and a good time….During the break Rod overheard someone describing Marc as very professional and expressionate ;-)
During the break we did spot a few familiar faces, 2 fans from Birmingham – Adrian and a girl with a black bob whose name I missed, the Japanese fan and a one or two others….M was with us and was wearing the Stardom Rd T-Shirt – he was receiving a lot of comments!!! Don’t think people expected a 5 year old to be a fan! He sang along with all the songs and had a great view as the layout mean there was only 1 row of seats in front of us.
The second half opened with Something’s gotten hold of my heart and the whole place came alive ! A bunch of ladies immediately jumped up and started dancing in the area between the stage and front row – Marc seemed thrilled by the reaction! Next was Back stage I’m lonely, then Tears Run rings, and My Hand over my heart. More and more people began to fill the ‘dance floor’ and by the time Marc did Days of Pearly Spencer it was like being in a nightclub! Marc then did The Boy who came back and M and I went down to the front of the stage and he sat on the edge of the stage, in front of Martin Watkins J
Next was Tainted Love and the whole place (~500 people) went wild! Next was What and then I close my eyes. Marc was obviously really enjoying himself and was jumping around the stage – so far away from the ‘exhauted’ angry figure from IndigO2. He closed the set with SHWG and I’ve never heard it get a better reception – the whole audience appeared to sing along!
We’d taken flowers and hoped we’d get chance to give them to Marc. During the final section of SHWG someone gave Marc, Neil and Martin red Gerbera, M ran back to our seats to get our flowers and stood on the edge of the stage and handed them to Marc as he walked towards us J Marc was very kind, smiled and waved to M, before taking the flowers back to the middle of the stage where he thanked me also J I was very very happy and M and I had a big hug and waved to Marc as he closed the song. We weren’t able to record it and there’s no chance any of this will be posted on YouTube, but we shall never forget it!
It was a really really special night – I’m sorry that you weren’t there, but I’m sure Bexhill/Leeds – your next show will be fabulous. After a terrible journey to get there, and last minute, post Wilton’s ticket purchases, it was more than worth all the hassle and we were sooo pleased to have been there to experience a great set of songs, in a fabulous atmosphere, with a happy and relaxed Marc and most of all for M and Marc to have ‘met’.
It was great to see Marc being able to connect and entertain such an audience, as well as the devoted at Wilton’s only a week or two ago - if ever he needed reassurance that he still has the ability to be a great performer he need look no further than these shows.
I do hope Marc wasn’t too freaked out to be confronted by a small boy in a Stardom Rd T-shirt on the edge of the stage holding a bunch of red roses!
Pics to follow tomorrow – they’re not great, but thought you’d like to see them none the less ….
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
